X marks the spot

Essay by bench1987High School, 10th gradeF, August 2006

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I am a peaceful person (unless provoked)

And I have been told more than once by different people

That I'm one of the most non-judgmental persons they've met

and that there is not a drop of hate in me.

I'm a sappy idealist, and Lord knows I try to be a good person

And everyday I try to be more patient, compassionate, and loving.

everyday I try to see how I can act unselfishly.

I'm not perfect, but I do try harder and harder to be good.

it is my challenge to see goodness, and beauty

where others have given up looking

because I know it must be there.

I am certain it is there.

there is innate goodness in everyone

just as much as each has tendency to be bad

that is why in spite of what I heard about X,

we became close.

I treat X as a very good friend.

until.. everything falls apart.

X is just so different and so unreal.

X is another matter.

X is a vexation to my spirit.

X turns me into someone I don't like.

X tempts me to be just the opposite.

This "X", I refer to is like a tumor

that grows more malignant with age

unless you cut X away from you

and undergo emotional chemo-therapy.

even then, X can still re-appear a little later on,

like cancer and you have to go through more chemotherapy.

like cancer who acted like a good cell until it corrupts it.

and yet, at the end of the day

though I am writhing in anger and frustration inside,

I do not hate X.

because X is my greatest teacher.

my anger and hate is momentary,

I know, it's a natural, human reaction

and why not? I've been hurt more than...