Essay by shehzaadiUniversity, Bachelor'sA+, September 2006

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This is my first attempt at story writing. It could not be an autobiographical piece because maybe I'll never accept that I can see glimpses of my life in Sana's. Read on.

She liked him. He used to visit her often. Everyday, actually. She had grown used to his presence. At twelve, Sana only thought of him as a solace from the gloom around.

Her parents were quarrelsome, she was a not-so-good student, she had no siblings to share her woes with, she was very irritable, and hence disliked by many. There was nothing that could bring colour to her mundane life. Except for him, perhaps.

He was very close to the family, thus his frequent visits failed to raise eyebrows. Moreover, he was in his early twenties, a dozen years older than her.

He never forgot her birthday, brought her gifts (mostly cuddly items from Archies), greeting cards and posters.

He miraculously seemed to understand her every mood, her every emotion.

Usually secretive, Sana was very 'open' with him. They seemed to connect perfectly well with each other.

Things changed. Suddenly.

He had finished his MBA and had to be married. He saw less of her. She was also too busy growing into a young woman, introspecting.

He found a match that she thought was perfect for him. A few months after his wedding, she realised she was spending a lot of time reliving their moments together.

She thought of the greeting card signed, "need me anytime, anywhere...i'm there."

She thought of the poster that said "be mine, forever".

She thought of the teddy bear, which had "you are too sweet..." written on it.

She thought of the thousand times he'd said, "Sana, you look simply beautiful."

How foolish of her to not have noticed this before!

Was she his adolescent love? First crush. Teenage love. The very thought of which brings a smile on your face, something that's true yet untrue, something whose uncertainty is the only certainty. It is momentary, but stays with you all your life.

The realisation came too late. Things had changed. He was a married man full of responsibilities. No more phones on her birthday. No more gifts. No more laughing together.

They had been 'special' people to each other. When he understood this, she didn't. And when she began to understand it, the wheels of time had turned, irreversibly.

Sana still hopes they can be 'special' in each other's lives. Again. What's wrong in that, she asks herself. But she knows that their lives don't intertwine anymore.

They are changed people now. Perhaps. Perhaps not.